This is where you will post a picture of yourself, a brief description of who you are, and upload your essay.
1. Does the beginning of the paper capture your attention or bring your focus the the topic? Why or why not? Do you have any suggestions to make it better? It kind of does but could start off with a transition.
2. Do the have a logical thesis statement? There is not really a thesis
3. Do they have good reasons in their main point preview? If they listed the points, is the list parallel? The list isn't parallel
1. Does each paragraph start with a good transition? If not, which ones are missing transitions? Yeah but could use better ones like first and foremost.
2. Is there a clear topic sentence for each paragraph? If not, which paragraphs need topic sentences? Do you have any suggestions to make the topic sentences better? Yes but could make the topic sentence longer.
3. Does the author's reasoning make sense? Where do they need to expand their ideas or add an example to clarify their point? Need to expand ideas on the three body paragraphs make it longer and have three points on them otherwise it was good.
1. Is there a transition at the beginning of their conclusion? Yes
2. Does the author summarize their thesis? Yes
3. Does the author summarize their main points? Not really just in the thesis it summarizes them. Could have separate ones for each point
3. Do you feel like the paper came to a smooth end? Why or why not? Yes because it wrapped it up good
In the introduction start with a attention getter, and then do a counterargument. You have good points, only that you need three subpoints for each paragraph in order to have a better length. Try to expand or explain a little bit more in each paragraph. Try to have some examples for each point. In the conclusion you mentioned your three points again and that's good, but try to leave everyone with something to think about.
Introduction: kinda captures the attention but I also agree it could start off with a good transition . Also try adding a thesis statement in your paragraph.
Body: the body paragraphs are nicely written but could use more transistions, also try using the more sophisticated transitions like furthermore, first and foremost, additionally, and to add to, also to sum up.
Conclusion: the conclusion is kinda short and really need to wrap up your whole essay, and you need to sum up the ideas of each of your body paragraphs.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.