This is where you will post a picture of yourself, a brief description of who you are, and upload your essay.
1. Does the beginning of the paper capture your attention or bring your focus the the topic? Why or why not? Do you have any suggestions to make it better?
Yes, you had a good lead-in and was able to capture my attention. Adding more information to your introduction would be beneficial.
2. Do the have a logical thesis statement?
Yes, you had a logical thesis statement.
3. Do they have good reasons in their main point preview? If they listed the points, is the list parallel?
You had good reasons for your main points but your list of points is not parallel.
1. Does each paragraph start with a good transition? If not, which ones are missing transitions?
The body paragraphs do start with transitions, however better transition phrases or words could have been used. Also, add a transition word to your fifth paragraph.
2. Is there a clear topic sentence for each paragraph? If not, which paragraphs need topic sentences? Do you have any suggestions to make the topic sentences better?
Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that clearly states what you will be talking about in that paragraph.
3. Does the author's reasoning make sense? Where do they need to expand their ideas or add an example to clarify their point?
The body paragraphs contained had some reasoning to support their topic sentence, however you could have added a little bit more information to add even more support or clarify some points you made. You had good ideas just expand on them more.
1. Is there a transition at the beginning of their conclusion?
There was a transition used but a better transition could have been used such as; all in all, to sum up, undoubtedly or even consequently.
2. Does the author summarize their thesis
Yes the thesis statement was summarized.
3. Does the author summarize their main points?
The main points were stated again but they were not exactly summarized. Summarize what you said in the body paragraphs when you restate your main points.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.