This is where you will post a picture of yourself, a brief description of who you are, and upload your essay.
1. Does the beginning of the paper capture your attention or bring your focus the the topic? Why or why not? Do you have any suggestions to make it better? Yes, I think the statistic helps to interest the reader and pull their attention to the story. However, the statistic only shares a piece of information that only is relevant to one subpoint instead of the whole paper. That might be something you'd want to change.
2. Do the have a logical thesis statement? I think the thesis is decent. Maybe summarize the last point so it isn't as long with the list.
3. Do they have good reasons in their main point preview? If they listed the points, is the list parallel? I think the thesis is parallel but you could improve it by saying "by keeping...by providing....and by providing".
1. Does each paragraph start with a good transition? If not, which ones are missing transitions? Possibly look for some stronger transitions to start the paragraphs.
2. Is there a clear topic sentence for each paragraph? If not, which paragraphs need topic sentences? Do you have any suggestions to make the topic sentences better? I think the topic sentences are good.
3. Does the author's reasoning make sense? Where do they need to expand their ideas or add an example to clarify their point?
1. Is there a transition at the beginning of their conclusion? Yes
2. Does the author summarize their thesis? The thesis is stated again but it wouldn't hurt to summarize it and give a little more info from what you wrote about in the paragraphs for each point.
3. Does the author summarize their main points? They are restated but not really summarized.
3. Do you feel like the paper came to a smooth end? Why or why not? Just ending it with a thesis kind of left the reader hanging. Give them a final thought to leave them thinking
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.